Irina Korshunova biography

Search to find: we went to the guardianship for the third child, and here we were told that in our city there were five children in five orphans five years ago Irina and her husband took two two children, Nastya and Vanya into the family. Nine months, the couple searched for them on bases and orphanages. After the first meeting with Nastya, they signed the consent to the adoption of Irina Korshunova’s blog, and Irina considers her younger brother to be his child who was accidentally born.

We already talked about this in more detail. Why did the Korshunov again decide to take five children of different ages at once? What helped the spouses pass all the difficulties of the adaptation period? The word Irina. Irina and her husband did not immediately decide to make a special child into the family, it took them time. The husband said: “I need to smell” during the pandemic I read a lot about adoptive children and found terrible statistics: during the quarantine, the number of children in orphanages has grown significantly.

I felt that I want to influence the situation, I want orphans to become at least a little less. On the site "Change one life" I began to watch video tanks and slowly discuss this issue with my husband. When the covid restrictions were removed, we went to the guardianship for the third child, and then we were told that in our city there were five orphans of five children. The first reaction was: no, we will not pull out five at once!

But the children were threatened with an orphanage, and due to the age of the youngest and the disease of one of the brothers in a child, everyone would be distributed to various orphanages. There was almost no time to think. As for the first time we took Nastya and Vanya, the husband said: "We need to smell." The guy immediately agreed, and the girl looked at us with fear without delaying, an employee of the guardianship called the older boy, who at that time was 16 years old, and asked to meet with us.

He arrived with a ten -year -old sister. We sat in the lobby in the corner, went two children, they blew from them with hopelessness and fear, the guy tried to hold on to Bravo, but the hanging shoulders clearly betrayed grief and confusion. I thought: “Poor children, they had to go through so much, and I am sitting here, an adult aunt, and I'm afraid it is not known what! The guy immediately agreed, and the girl looked at us with eyes full of fear.

I could not stand it and ran out of the office to calm down and not cry with children. After a short conversation, the guys were released, and we stayed. We learned that before us the children were under the care of one woman, and she refused them. We did not have a feeling of rejection, but we had to see and sniff other children. In the very first days, the replacing family went together at sea and to the river.

A child with disabilities scared me in a day, we came to get acquainted with their three -year -old sister and an eight -year -old brother, who had cerebral palsy. Baby immediately fascinated my husband, went to his arms, he began to play with her, throw her into the air. I looked at a special child more, found out how much everything was running, whether it was possible to put him on his feet, which he has with intellectual safety.

The child with disabilities scared me, I was afraid that I could not accept him, I was afraid that there would not be enough resources to treat and rehabilitation. My husband and I discussed this issue most. The decision was made for a long time, they thought for a week, they talked among themselves, whether we can handle adolescents, read about cerebral palsy, talked with care. As a result, we signed consent to guardianship.

The last one of the five, a thirteen -year -old girl, arrived from the camp when all the other children were already with us. I met her at the bus stop, we talked a little, and at home she ran to the brothers and sisters. The adaptation period was very difficult to say that it was a continuous conflict with brief intervals of calm. The honeymoon ended, not having time to begin. In the very first days, we walked together at sea and to the river.

I remember how the girls and I made a salad and pizza in the kitchen, and my husband and an older boy collected furniture. Read also: Adaptation of the adoptive child: 4 ages and 4 stages, so there are few good memories from that period. The children resisted our lifestyle in everything, they were not accustomed to order, the word "discipline" was absent in their vocabulary. Scattered things, unwashed dishes, “what am I?

The adaptation was severe for all family members. And everyone was able to go through this test. Our new and first adoptive children were divided into two camps, two families, perceiving each other with hostility. Since new adolescents are already adolescents, and Nastya with Vanya 7 and 6 years old, I was constantly on the alert, at one time I even slept with them in the room, closing the door to the lock.

The first children began the rollback: Nastya returned the tantrums, and one night Vanya was described, and I was frightened for them, who had already become completely home children! But this was not the worst. The older teenagers began to constantly complain about us, to say about my husband that he beats them, that we do not care about them and do not feed that I force them to do all the work on the house.Moreover, their blood aunt connected, began to write complaints to all instances, although she herself refused his nephews.

I was constantly called into custody and interrogated because of these complaints, we went with the children to a psychologist, but the situation remained tense. Read also - 6 issues of foster parents to the chief children's psychiatrist in Moscow, I was terribly tired, cried a lot, I was tormented by headaches, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

My husband and I were very worried about each other and for our adopted children. The apogee became another terrible lie about beatings. I was ready to write a refusal and directly said this in guardianship. I drank pills and took sessions from a psychologist to the way, except for a boy with cerebral palsy, other children had serious diagnoses. I went to hospitals with them, but to no avail, they refused to be treated.

Then it was decided to send the elders for six months to the sanatorium for treatment. Are you ready to accept a special child? After the three elders left, I took up my health and health of the remaining children. The husband and Vanya went to relatives, his help was needed there, my younger children and I remained three. I drank pills and took sessions from a psychologist.

When the husband returned, we took up the upbringing of the baby, who looked like Mowgli, and the rehabilitation of her disabled brother, two of them have passed, now we are preparing for the third. After 5 months, we all returned to normal, it was not to recognize new kids. The boy began to crawl and speak normally, to sit on a chair himself, went to school in first grade.

The baby stopped writing, where she wanted to, rush to food, went to the kindergarten, and loved to help me around the house. Nastya and Vanya returned to their former state. The elders also gradually get used to our way and new life, between the children there is no longer a division into two camps. Disagreements happen, but within the norm, as in ordinary children. Irina is sure that children taught her tolerance and kindness.

Be sure to allocate time for ourselves my husband and I are the main support and support to each other. The psychologist also helped me a lot. I learned to accept many situations, to pronounce them with children and not be nervous by trifles like unraveled dust. I will definitely allocate time for myself and accustomed all the family to the fact that I sometimes need to be alone, that I can be busy with my business, and not just children and economy.

Read also - how to get a consultation with the psychologist of the “Change one life” fund, no matter what, the adoptive children taught me kindness and tolerance. When they thaw and begin to trust the adoptive parents and the world around him, their immediacy and sensitivity becomes visible. After all, it only seems that they are evil and selfish. When, in the midst of conflicts, I cried in my room, one of the new girls brought me a glass of water and said that I needed to relax.

She felt my pain. Children should not live in orphanages, of course, before taking even one child to the family, you need to think well, weigh your strength, remove pink glasses, go through the spr, find a psychologist to support and support in difficult situations. We see that all difficulties are overcome with the right approach, and there is no need to be afraid of mistakes either.

Children should not live in orphanages. Having left there, they do not know how to live in this world. Even my new tricks, which were not in the “system”, are completely not adapted to life, because they did not have a model of a normal family before their eyes, what can we say about children from the orphanage. According to sad statistics, they become victims of scammers and replenish the ranks of crime, but it should not.

Video boards of the Foundation "Change one life", blogs of foster mothers in social networks - this is already a lot to solve this problem. I began to conduct blogs on Instagram and on the fund’s website, many of my subscribers took adopted children, some of the second child. But, of course, this problem should be covered more in the media and instead of stupid shows on television and on the Internet it would be possible to make programs about adoption so that more and more people understand: and they can change someone's life.

Photos - from the Korshunov family archive. To the favorites.